A Sketch: Selling Cabbage With a Flourish

[Jun]

"No, no, allow me to take care of everything," said the young man at the checkout line. He made an elaborate gesture to shoo me into the narrow isle between two checkout counters, while he pulled up the shopping cart and began to take out the cucumbers, tomatoes, and watermelons for scanning.

Trust me, this was in an ordinary, no-frills supermarket, not some fancy, over-priced, faux European shops for snobs. Never have I met such an overzealous checkout guy or gal, here or anywhere else.

He looked to be in his mid-twenties, not very tall, a bit on the thin side, wearing the supermarket uniform. His light brown hair was combed back and gelled with a such a passionate stiffness that I almost blurted out, "Shiny hair, man!" But I got hold of myself and remained silent, not without some effort.

"Plastic OK?" He asked earnestly, as if asking us how we liked a particular performance of Romeo and Juliet.

"Yeah ... sure." I was intimidated by such extravagance --- at a supermarket, of all places.

He busied himself with all the duties of a cashier: scanning the items, bagging them, summing up, taking the cash, and handing me the change. I couldn't take my eyes off him. He had a meticulously-trimmed beard in the same light-brown color as his hair. The mustache was not only carefully groomed, but the tips on the left and right sides were grown longer and impeccably curled, and appeared to be waxed to hold their flirtatious shape. Hercule Poirot, I thought. Only Poirot's mustache was black.

"With your discount card, you have saved three dollars and so-and-so cents today with your purchase," he said it with no less emotion than Romeo when he uttered, "It is the east, and Juliet is the sun." He extended both hands dramatically, pointing toward the grocery bags on the counter, as if he were a magician pointing toward a box from which a white rabbit was to jump out any moment.

Ah, now I kick myself. Why didn't I have the courage, or was I too astounded, to ask him right there, "Are you an actor between jobs? Perhaps researching for a role?"

[Knowing]

Nice, I see you start doing more DC street sketches!

[CAVA]

Perhaps he's been trained as a waiter in Italy They are all like that over there.