恶人谷

great articles in the new yorker. proceed with caution... i nearly wept at work.

http://www.newyorker.com/online/content ... lineonly02

http://www.newyorker.com/fact/content/a ... 01fa_fact1

虽然他文笔优美加引经据典,窃以为不如我BIRTH CLUB里STAY HOME MOM写的感人.
我觉得写的浅了.

is there a link to that one?

hmm i didn't really get that feeling of 文笔优美加引经据典. to me the details are powerful...

Sorry I was half joking... That mom is not a writer as skillful as him. But talking about powerful details and real life, he can not beat her. He is observing from a distance, isn't he? I would expect him to drill down a little bit more than just giving us details.

As to the song, Good night Irene, I heard a story that it was originally from a more graphic version: I will get you in my dream.
There are a lot of scary folk songs about birth and death though. It is the product of pre-christian superstition and christian history.

I asked the room, “What do you say when people ask you if you have kids? If I say yes, they’re going to ask about them. If I say no, I’m lying.”

Nobody knew how to answer my question.

以前在哪里读过一段类似的：失去其他亲人的身份还有个词儿，孤儿，寡妇，鳏夫。。。失去孩子却没有，很多语言里都没有，事实上作者还没发现哪种语言里有这个词儿。
不能用语言表达的痛苦。

i'm very curious to read that work now. to me, though, that element of almost critical distance, be it a literary device or survival tactic, just does me in.

我去找了, 旧帖子都RECYCLED了. 不好意思. 我只好大概转述一下, 不喜妈妈经的请原谅我.
因为所有人的预产期都在一起, 那个故事夹在许多欣喜万分的汇报里. 那个妈妈近乎麻木地经受了所有生育的痛苦. 而且知道这一切之后没有欣喜只有痛苦等着她. 和这篇文章里不同, 她很勇敢做了一般过程, 看了她的孩子, 照了照片, 完成纪念册, 和亲属举行了小型葬礼. 她写的很详细, 很多有类似经历的妈妈也说了心路历程. 我的感想:
1. 给自己时间哀悼而不是刻意忘记才是疗伤的开始. (我想原文里面那个医院的SOCIAL WORKER才是对的)
2. 如JUN引用过的: SUFFERING IS ENDURING PAIN ALONE. 无法言说的痛苦才是最大的痛苦. 这样失去孩子的最大痛苦是不能理直气壮地哀悼, 象HELEN引用的那段原文. 育儿网站上很多人安慰MISCARRIAGE或者STILL BIRTH的父母说再生一个就好了, 现在才懂得这种安慰话对被安慰者简直是一种伤害.