[分享]以德服人的人生哲学
Posted: 2006-08-01 13:28
先声明，这个不是我写的。
Philosophy on life
It seems that the best way to tell people what to do without getting into trouble is religion, so welcome to:
THE CHURCH OF RIGHT FUCKING NOW
Our Beliefs:
People have walked across continents, endured years of torture, raised armies and fought and died for what they believed, and now nobody even knows the language their country was named in. I guarantee that none of the things you worry about will matter to anyone in a thousand years (unless you work in nuclear waste disposal, in which case you better pray they don't invent time travel).
But what you think and feel right now is real and worthwhile, unless you waste it complaining about how the waiter put the wrong amount of cream in your frapuccino. In which case fuck off.
Commandments:
IT IS ALWAYS RIGHT NOW
The Church of Now doesn't mean you should do stupid self-destructive shit for a moments fun - the future is just more now, and that'll suck ass if you screw things up. Chopping your hand off right now might be a great way to win a "Who's the toughest Dumbass redneck" in Shitsville, Alabama, but the the now that comes in a couple of seconds is going to involve a lot of girly screaming and a complete inability to reload your shotgun.
Do what brings the greatest total of 'fun now'. Handing the bartender a note and saying 'Three whatever you wants' when it's your round? Cool, the party right-now is worth the pain future-now. Unprotected sex with someone you just met? Congratulations, you're a moron, and have traded possibly your entire lifespan for a few seconds!
It's obvious that risking the future for a moments fun is stupid. But delaying all fun and life for five years until after your high school/degree/postgrad/MBA/promotion/review/mortgage/pension/ohshitIwaitedtoolongandnowImdead? Equally stupid.
IT IS RIGHT NOW FOR EVERYBODY
Stephen Hawking triumphed over crippling conditions to revolutionise our understanding of the universe.
Billy Conolly has brought laughter and joy to millions.
Kylie Minogue has an ass I would trade ten years of my life to touch.
No-one you know sacrifices time or energy for these fine and wonderful people, so they sure as hell don't owe you a damn thing. If you're going to take up their time it better be worth it for both of you. Bitching about your life? Make it funny or shut up. Talking to them? Listen as well. Trying to score? Be somebody worth scoring with. And most importantly...
STOP WHINING
Every second you bitch about your life, every moment you complain in a whiney nasal way about something that annoyed you, is a second that you and everybody around you isn't going to get back. And since you have access to the internet, I can tell you that you are a fed clothed medical-cared 1st-world-rights-protected thousand-dollar-computer using person who does not have a thing to complain about. No, no you don't.
And now a reading from The Book of Now
"No matter how bad things get, they couldn't be any better, and they couldn't be any worse. That's just the way things fucking are. So you better get used to it, nancy." - Church, Red Vs Blue
"If you can do something about it, do it. If you can't, don't. But never worry." - My Dad, Tough Irish Construction Worker.
Thank you for coming to this sermon from the Church of Right Fucking Now. Go forth, and sin no more: worry not about the precise quantity of cilantro in your salad; bitch not about your crappy car unless you can do so in an amusing manner; don't put off that vital task, just get it done and feel good and relaxed afterwards rather than guilty and still nothing done; have a drink because you want one and smile because you did.
Philosophy on life
It seems that the best way to tell people what to do without getting into trouble is religion, so welcome to:
THE CHURCH OF RIGHT FUCKING NOW
Our Beliefs:
People have walked across continents, endured years of torture, raised armies and fought and died for what they believed, and now nobody even knows the language their country was named in. I guarantee that none of the things you worry about will matter to anyone in a thousand years (unless you work in nuclear waste disposal, in which case you better pray they don't invent time travel).
But what you think and feel right now is real and worthwhile, unless you waste it complaining about how the waiter put the wrong amount of cream in your frapuccino. In which case fuck off.
Commandments:
IT IS ALWAYS RIGHT NOW
The Church of Now doesn't mean you should do stupid self-destructive shit for a moments fun - the future is just more now, and that'll suck ass if you screw things up. Chopping your hand off right now might be a great way to win a "Who's the toughest Dumbass redneck" in Shitsville, Alabama, but the the now that comes in a couple of seconds is going to involve a lot of girly screaming and a complete inability to reload your shotgun.
Do what brings the greatest total of 'fun now'. Handing the bartender a note and saying 'Three whatever you wants' when it's your round? Cool, the party right-now is worth the pain future-now. Unprotected sex with someone you just met? Congratulations, you're a moron, and have traded possibly your entire lifespan for a few seconds!
It's obvious that risking the future for a moments fun is stupid. But delaying all fun and life for five years until after your high school/degree/postgrad/MBA/promotion/review/mortgage/pension/ohshitIwaitedtoolongandnowImdead? Equally stupid.
IT IS RIGHT NOW FOR EVERYBODY
Stephen Hawking triumphed over crippling conditions to revolutionise our understanding of the universe.
Billy Conolly has brought laughter and joy to millions.
Kylie Minogue has an ass I would trade ten years of my life to touch.
No-one you know sacrifices time or energy for these fine and wonderful people, so they sure as hell don't owe you a damn thing. If you're going to take up their time it better be worth it for both of you. Bitching about your life? Make it funny or shut up. Talking to them? Listen as well. Trying to score? Be somebody worth scoring with. And most importantly...
STOP WHINING
Every second you bitch about your life, every moment you complain in a whiney nasal way about something that annoyed you, is a second that you and everybody around you isn't going to get back. And since you have access to the internet, I can tell you that you are a fed clothed medical-cared 1st-world-rights-protected thousand-dollar-computer using person who does not have a thing to complain about. No, no you don't.
And now a reading from The Book of Now
"No matter how bad things get, they couldn't be any better, and they couldn't be any worse. That's just the way things fucking are. So you better get used to it, nancy." - Church, Red Vs Blue
"If you can do something about it, do it. If you can't, don't. But never worry." - My Dad, Tough Irish Construction Worker.
Thank you for coming to this sermon from the Church of Right Fucking Now. Go forth, and sin no more: worry not about the precise quantity of cilantro in your salad; bitch not about your crappy car unless you can do so in an amusing manner; don't put off that vital task, just get it done and feel good and relaxed afterwards rather than guilty and still nothing done; have a drink because you want one and smile because you did.
他写的还蛮好看啦，画的比较孩气一团。蓝领气质，讲话不太斯文， 大家也包涵。
