恶人谷

白求恩同志是加拿大共产党员，五十多岁了，为了帮助中国的抗日战争，受加拿大共产党和美国共产党的派遣，不远万里，来到中国。去年春上到延安，后来到五台山工作，不幸以身殉职。一个外国人，毫无利己的动机，把中国人民的解放事业当做他自己的事业，这是什么精神？这是国际主义的精神，这是共产主义的精神，每一个中国共产党员都要学习这种精神。

Comrade Bethune was a member of the Canadian Communist Party. He was in his fifties. To lend his support to China's anti-Japanese war, he was commissioned by the Cananadian Communist Party and United States Communist Party to come to China. He had overcome tens of thousands of miles to arrive in Yan'an last spring and later worked in Wutaishan, where he passed away in the line of duty. Being a foreigner, he held no self interest, but devoted himself entirely to the cause of the Chinese people in their struggle toward freedom. How do we define the essence he represents? He represents the heart of Internationalism, the soul of Communism. Every Chinese Communist should follow his example.


Oh boy. This is more difficult than I imagined. And it's a fraction of the level of translating something "artistic." Hmm... I have the tendency to go for my own phrases rather than adhering to the author's original wording. Of course one could argue I'm rewriting it too much (and he would be right).

没有了，我觉得这样翻已经很“信”。主要是， adhering是黏住原文句式还是意义？如果舍句取义，那限度又在哪里，翻译岂不又变成重写。

比如说，He was in his fifties这句，英文写作者决计不舍得让它单列成一句的，肯定要嵌成定语从句方后快。

这个游戏好玩。把毛选的英译找出来看也会很有意思。

我们上大学时学过翻译，当时就感觉难得很。后来我读《京华烟云》的两种翻译本，觉得译得一般。再后来见到了它的原版，10页之后我明白了，什么叫见人挑担不吃力。

会不会是译者因为是毛选，不敢擅自“会意”，一定要“信”放在首位？

像《京华烟云》这样用英语写中国的小说，本来就已经有了一重翻译，再兜回来，就好像我们用James Oliver的中国菜菜谱来烧中国菜。

最近为一点小钱，在做一个旅游区博物馆说明的翻译。才知道做翻译最讨厌的不是原文难，而是原文差，恨不得替他重写了。

　　今天晚上，很好的月光。

　　我不见他，已是三十多年；今天见了，精神分外爽快。才知道以前的三十多年，全是发昏；然而 须十分小心。不然，那赵家的狗，何以看我两眼呢？

　　我怕得有理。

The moon was bright tonight.

It has been over thirty years since I last saw him; thus today's rendezvous lifted my spirit. It made me realize that I had been lost in all the past thirty years. But I must be careful -- The Zhao's dog glanced me with a look.

I had reasons for my fear.

　　
　　今天全没月光，我知道不妙。早上小心出门，赵贵翁的眼色便怪：似乎怕我，似乎想害我。还有七八个人，交头接耳的议论我，张着嘴，对我笑了一笑；我便从头直冷到脚根，晓得他们布置，都已妥当了。
　我可不怕，仍旧走我的路。前面一伙小孩子，也在那里议论我；眼色也同赵贵翁一样，脸色也铁青。我想我同小孩子有什么仇，他也这样。忍不住大声说，“你告诉我！”他们可就跑了。
　　我想：我同赵贵翁有什么仇，同路上的人又有什么仇；只有廿年以前，把古久先生的陈年流水簿子⑶，踹了一脚，古久先生很不高兴。赵贵翁虽然不认识他，一定也听到风声，代抱不平；约定路上的人，同我作冤对。但是小孩子呢？那时候，他们还没有出世，何以今天也睁着怪眼睛，似乎怕我，似乎想害我。这真教我怕，教我纳罕而且伤心。
　　我明白了。这是他们娘老子教的！

The lack of moonlight tonight forshadowed my misfortune. Lord Zhao had a strange look in his eye as I walked out the door cautiously this morning. It could be fear, or worse, an intent to do me harm. A few others were whispering in each other's ears about me while grinning to my face. A chill shot from my head to toe, for I saw through their plan to hurt me.

But I feared them not, and strided on. A herd of children in the road were also talking about me, with the same look in their eyes and the same harshness on their face, just like Lord Zhao. What have I done to these children? I thought. Why are they doing this to me? So I pleaded aloud, "Tell me!" But they merely ran away.

I thought: What have I done to Lord Zhao? Or to the strangers on the road? Perhaps it had to do with my kicking Mr. Ancient's accounting books (diary?), which drew his wrath, 20 years ago ago. Perhaps Lord Zhao had heard about the incident and took offense as well, so that he conspired with the people on the road to despise me. But the children! They weren't even born back then. Why are they looking at me with fear and hostility in their eyes? It made me afraid. It made me bewildered and heart-broken.

Then it dawned on me. Their parents had taught them to hate me.

汝南 wrote:好像我们用James Oliver的中国菜菜谱来烧中国菜。

这是不是英国的那个厨师，有一档烧菜节目的？

哇，Jun翻得真好。
我感觉有点奇怪，不知道为什么看英文更顺。英文的看上去明显这个人是病了。但中文的就感觉是54时期的白话文，犬牙呲互的，感觉黑漆漆的，但是这人病了的意思很隐晦。

不知道为什么看英文更顺。英文的看上去明显这个人是病了。但中文的就感觉是54时期的白话文，犬牙呲互的，感觉黑漆漆的，但是这人病了的意思很隐晦。

That's the problem! I cannot translate the "edge" in the original style. Lu Xun has this distinct way of saying things in his fiction that gives you a sense of tension and a taste of surrealism, which I believe is intentional, because his nonfiction writing is a lot more straightforward. I can't do it (in any language).

Hence more evidence to support the impossibility of translation. But it's kinda fun to try my hand in various original styles -- which inevitably end up sounding like me in the translation.

which inevitably end up sounding like me in the translation.

I am so glad to see someone like you having the same problem as I do.

英文的文体感没有中文的那么深刻清晰。鲁迅的话，只要超过二十个字就能闻出是他的味儿。其他老舍，沈从文，张爱玲，钱钟书。。。无不如此。英文作家就没有这么明显。

Be careful. Don't judge 英文的文体感 on my translation!

The smell of Dickens and the taste of Austen are distinctive as well, only in a different way from Chinese. No direct comparison can be made.

《狂人日记》的中文有神经质，惶恐不安的气息，但是JUN的翻译更像是梦游的感觉，大概是因为字句的精致。在中文里可以感觉到这个人被吓坏了，丧家之犬，每一个外界的input都是对神经的一记重击。英文里的这个人更像个observer，在rationalize他的观察结果。
总之，

[quote]荆柯奉樊于期头函，而秦舞阳奉地图柙，以次进。至陛，秦舞阳色变振恐，群臣怪之。荆柯顾笑舞阳，前谢曰：“北蕃蛮夷之鄙人，未尝见天子，故振摄。愿大王少假借之，使得毕使于前。”秦王谓轲曰：“取舞阳所持地图。”轲既取图奏之，秦王发图，图穷而匕首见。因左手把秦王之袖，而右手持匕首

u gotta go shakespearean when translating this story..... still the flavour will be lost.

Are you kidding? "You gotta go Shakespearean?" I would if I could! It's like saying, "You gotta eat cake" or "You gotta run a marathon." Besides, Shakespeare did mostly dialogue or monogue of poetry.

关于荆轲的业务水平，陶潜诗有如是评价：惜哉剑术疏。
秦王严令是不许武士持械上厅堂的，荆轲的刀裹在地图里，乃有图穷匕见这个成语－－－也就是当时没有金属门啊！整个事件中，只有秦王他的医生急中生智拿药袋儿砸到荆轲的脸上了。基本上来讲是荆轲拿着匕首追着秦王砍，秦王着急逃命，绕柱飞奔，剑长一时着急拔不出来，手下左右指点他把剑背在背上才拔出来。拔出来了以后马上就断了荆轲的腿儿－－－总之荆轲作为一个刺客，是不合格的刺客，他胜在胆气大，不会怯场，能够创造机会；但是他不能把握机会，刺半天都没有刺着人！还好意思说他想如何如何。真是怎么说呢，傻流氓啊。
附上陶潜咏荆轲诗

・晋・・陶渊明

燕丹善养士， 志在报强赢。

招集百夫良， 岁暮得荆卿。
君子死知己， 提剑出燕京。

素骥鸣广陌， 慷慨送我行。

雄发指危冠， 猛气充长缨。

饮饯易水上， 四座列群英。

渐离击悲筑， 宋意唱高声。
萧萧哀风逝， 淡淡寒波生。

商音更流涕， 羽奏壮士惊。

心知去不归， 且有后世名。

登车何时顾， 飞盖入秦庭。

陵厉越万里， 逶迤过千城。

图穷事自至， 豪主正征营。

惜哉剑术疏， 奇功遂不成。

其人虽已没， 千载有余情。

But the King could have just run out of the court and into the crowd and let his guard take care of the rest. And his guards could have yelled, "Come out, Sir! Over here!"

Yeah. I used to think this was, like, the best tragic heroic story ever. Guess I didn't read it closely.

我觉得也不能这么说人家秦王，当时毕竟在逃命，昏到剑都拔不出来了，这个这个，也是情有可原。
我真是不喜欢太子丹，笼络人的手段太血腥太血腥了。

PS.臣子招呼秦王应该说：my liege/my lord吧？
e.g. ur men, my liege, will follow u to whatever end. (the lord of the ring, the twin tower)

剑长，操其室

我的理解是剑太长，吓昏了拔不出来，就拿着鞘乱打。

桐柱不是铜柱？lord级别还不太高。your majesty? your highness?

荆轲事不成，实在是技艺不精，还好意思夸口什么生劫之。

汝南 wrote:最近为一点小钱，在做一个旅游区博物馆说明的翻译。才知道做翻译最讨厌的不是原文难，而是原文差，恨不得替他重写了。

哈哈，就是这种感觉。特别是当原文的逻辑混乱，反反复复的时候。

是是是，我等下改改。

这个难度比翻译Nabokov低一百倍。

其实古文还好，特别是这种叙事的，动词实在，一个是一个。而且基本，人就是衣食住行打架斗殴那点事儿，不会“幽幽地点起一支烟，良久腮边坠下一滴清泪。“如果不要求对应的用古英语，一看就懂，一说就明白。