[闲聊]女人的故事,男人的故事

入得谷来,祸福自求。
Post Reply
Jun
Posts: 27816
Joined: 2003-12-15 11:43

[闲聊]女人的故事,男人的故事

Post by Jun » 2007-01-20 22:50

前阵子不是说男女之别么?于是我又开始胡思乱想,然后拿到这儿来胡说八道。话说老子在The New Yorker上看见倒霉的Anthony Lane评论电影Volver的话,真是气不打一处来。我有种强烈的怀疑,Lane不喜欢这部电影是因为看不惯这是一部明目张胆的女性影片,里面一家三代女人,坚强自立,互相扶持,一点不靠男人援手也活得好好的。听着Lane字里行间的就对此不忿,又不好发作--爱慕杜华虽然是弯的可仍然是如假包换的老爷们儿,终究怪不得那些自鸣得意自以为解放了的傻女人的傻主意。又讨论到,如果象Children of Men或者James Tiptree, Jr.编的那样儿,明天真的男人不需要女人女人也不需要男人传宗接代了,世界会变成什么样,大家又能否照常活下去。我搜肠刮肚地回想各色chick flicks,guy movies,至少文艺作品,电影作品里男人和女人的题材,得到的结论把自己也吓一跳:似乎,嗯嗯,男人可以自己跟自己好好地玩下去,纯男人的故事大把大把的;而女人的故事却少不了男人,除了纯弯女的故事如Orlando,我一时还真想不起来有什么是全女班无男角的故事。

纯男人故事,从水浒三国西游记到西部片动作片黑帮片,女人只是点缀而已,在精神上感情上理想上都是可有可无的,男人跟男人,而且都是百分之百的大英雄形象哦,多么的热血沸腾多么铁汉柔情,仁义双全,爱恨情仇,男人和男人之间的深情才浪漫呢,看看Clint Eastwood的电影就知道了,不需要女人插进来。。。可是我见过的女人写的关于女人的小说电影,即使是全班女角,她们的故事都跟男人有千丝万缕的关系,当然也互相有关系,总之复杂得很一扯一大片。女人的人生似乎有无数坐标和结构,其中总有扯上男人的一部分,从来没有象男人的故事那样精神上能够自给自足。为什么涅?或许是因为女人长久处于社会弱势地位低下从属男人脱不掉依赖关系?但是我有个旧理论,非常政治不正确,说出来一定会被人扁:男人广泛地有弯的倾向,哪怕抵死不认或者被恐惧推到大脑最深处,但是这或多或少的天性在最阳刚的男人里也有。而女人或许弯的倾向。。。即使有,也是来自跟弯男全然不同的来源。。。

putaopi
Posts: 4033
Joined: 2006-01-18 23:35

Re: [闲聊]女人的故事,男人的故事

Post by putaopi » 2007-01-21 0:33

我觉得是女人有生育的本能,所以需要男人的合作。男人么,反正不会生孩子,有没有女人都能自己玩儿。 :lol:

atiti
Posts: 254
Joined: 2004-12-25 1:01

Re: [闲聊]女人的故事,男人的故事

Post by atiti » 2007-01-21 5:04

putaopi wrote:我觉得是女人有生育的本能,所以需要男人的合作。男人么,反正不会生孩子,有没有女人都能自己玩儿。 :lol:
这个,男人也有传播基因的本能,也需要女人合作吧。

Knowing
Posts: 34487
Joined: 2003-11-22 20:37

Post by Knowing » 2007-01-21 17:09

又是 nature vs nurture 的老问题。我觉得没有那么复杂那么潜意识。艺术临摹生活。以前女性主要生活在家庭中,在男权社会里长期是从属地位,有女性不能去的地方,却没有男性不能去的地方。所以一部小说要是写军队,牛仔,黑社会,自然可以纯男性。要是写女性小说,她们有可能是:等着嫁人;已经嫁人;一群人嫁给抽象的一个人:信主,供奉佛祖,后宫里等皇帝临辛。打个不恰当的比方:写一本宋代历史你可以完全只谈帝王将相,可是写一本关于宋朝某村农民生活的小说,你不可能不提朝代变更,至少得避免不了提到县太爷是否清廉。
弱势群体没有声音,容易被从画面里抹掉。强势群体分分钟到处留下痕迹。
有事找我请发站内消息

Jun
Posts: 27816
Joined: 2003-12-15 11:43

Post by Jun » 2007-01-21 17:28

But even today, even movies that are written directed and played by women, men always have a prominent place in the story -- even things like "Fried Green Tomato," Steel Magnolia, Nine to Five, Notes on a Scandal, Lovely and Amazing, Friends with Money, etc. Men always have a meaningful place in women's lives -- emotionally and spiritually. Women in men's lives ... uh ... not so much.

My conclusion is, in a world where men and women do not need each other biologically, men would happily play within themselves and satisfy each other's emotional needs, but women would have a much harder time... :mrgreen:

Knowing
Posts: 34487
Joined: 2003-11-22 20:37

Post by Knowing » 2007-01-21 17:57

even today
Well, first of all, even today we are far from gender equality. Secondly, even in the more equal area, women do not dominate.
in a world where men and women do not need each other biologically, men would happily play within themselves and satisfy each other's emotional needs, but women would have a much harder time
I would spare you the bad joke that most men have little emotional need, but seriously, biological need and socialogical need, physical need and emotional needs are often entwined so closely together, it is hard to tell where one stops and the other starts. Is the cat's need to be stoked physical or emotionall? Is our need to hug and kiss another human is physical or emotional? It is often 50-50. Lots of women might not live happily without men, but without othe women they can gossip with or show off to, it might be even worse.
有事找我请发站内消息

tiffany
Posts: 24866
Joined: 2003-11-22 20:59

Post by tiffany » 2007-01-21 18:30

我迟疑的说,我觉得jun说的男人精神上的自给自足和男人不需要女人满足他们的精神需求8完全4一回事儿。
我就跳出来说吧,我觉得我们不了解男人,不知道他们怎么想的,在最基本的层次上不能relate;反之亦然。
乡音无改鬓毛衰

Knowing
Posts: 34487
Joined: 2003-11-22 20:37

Post by Knowing » 2007-01-21 19:29

别说男人了,90% 女人我也不能relate.
我觉得电影和小说,作为艺术创作,本质上还是个人性非常强的东西。所以有那么几个男人喜欢创作兄弟情长的东西,并不能说明大部分男人都怎么怎么。水浒这样特别仇恨女性的小说也少。骑士小说武侠小说里都有(至少起摆设作用)的女主角作为终极奖品。
有事找我请发站内消息

karen
Posts: 3020
Joined: 2003-11-22 18:51

Post by karen » 2007-01-21 20:31

我觉得电影和小说,作为艺术创作,本质上还是个人性非常强的东西。
就是的。 就象拍mafia这么男性主题的电影,既能拍成象教父女人纯属配角那样,也可拍成Sopranos那样,Tony的老婆在那戏里有不可忽略的角色。

I think a good way to gain some understand on this issue is to look at studies of social dynamics in women prison, and compare it to that of where men are locked up. Perhaps that is more helpful than yying aimlessly here.

Jun
Posts: 27816
Joined: 2003-12-15 11:43

Post by Jun » 2007-01-21 22:42

All right, I said 说出来一定会被人扁. It was a joke, an idle speculation, and a crazy extrapolation intended to offend. :-P

猫咪头
Posts: 403
Joined: 2003-12-05 9:38

Post by 猫咪头 » 2007-01-23 23:06

I was gonna say :" What are you smoking ?" And I am not totally relieved by your claim of "just joking".

Is someone trying to brainwash you? This is mental abuse, you know.
MMT

Jun
Posts: 27816
Joined: 2003-12-15 11:43

Post by Jun » 2007-01-23 23:28

What? What? Are we so scared of a little blasphemous talk? Can't I put forth a bit of wild speculation without logic or evidence? Is it so unimaginable to suggest that, if we take sex and procreation out of the equation, men might find it easier to live without women then women find it to live without men? I'm not promoting an actual male-dependent existence for women in any seriousness. But what good is a blabber mouth like me if I don't dare to push it a little deeper into silliness and offensive controversy? To be able to toy with all kinds of possibilities, however implausible, is to face our own fear and aversion.

(Actually I have my own theory about why women's stories always have men but men's stories sometimes do not have women--in a psychological sense, but that's beside the point.)

猫咪头
Posts: 403
Joined: 2003-12-05 9:38

Post by 猫咪头 » 2007-01-24 0:38

Duh, Authors don't directly sell to the readers. Manuscripts must first be sold to editors, male editors.
MMT

笑嘻嘻
Posts: 23477
Joined: 2003-11-22 18:00

Post by 笑嘻嘻 » 2007-01-24 1:52

等一等,等一等,Jun。你从一个现象:你看到的记得的文艺作品里要么是有关男女之间的故事的,要么是有关男男之间的故事的。然后你提出了一个问题:为什么会这样?你同时提出了一个假想:是不是因为女人的生活里不能没有男人,而男人的生活里可以没有女人。
上面的同学们反感你的假想,不是因为你提出了一个大胆的假设,而是从这个社会现象走到这个结论。
男女之间是有本质的生物区别,但是这种生物区别并不是一切社会现象的唯一答案。先说文艺作品里有没有主要是女女之间的故事的?我印象里是有的,亦舒的中晚期作品里就有不少(在最晚的天才少女故事之前的阶段)。我猜亦舒当时写的时候已经不在外面工作了。她那阶段的小说里,一个大企业从上到下全部人员“全女班”。男性的出现纯为了谈恋爱,主要特征是眼睛会笑,会跳舞,会接吻会调情。非常符号化。但是她这个时期的作品已经完全失去了她年轻时代作品里充斥的小小的街头哲学。换句话讲,她的这种作品没有任何生活基础。
前面你举的男男文艺作品的例子里,真正有关gay的并不多。多数是关于“外面的世界”的。传统女性的整个世界就是家庭内部。一个传统家庭是由男女共同组成的。除了,我想了半天,修道院。有专写修道院的作品吗?那非得是个女作家吧?只有在家庭之外,有大量女性从事各种职业,一个女性在“外面的世界”处理各种问题时才会正好碰到的全是女性。才可能产生爱情家庭以外的故事。才有目前的男男作品相同的社会基础和背景。我不认为文艺作品能够超越其所在的社会背景而存在。
云浆未饮结成冰

Jun
Posts: 27816
Joined: 2003-12-15 11:43

Post by Jun » 2007-01-24 7:59

Oh I totally support people disagreeing with my 大胆的假设. In fact I don't even agree with this theory. Your explanation is very plausible.

It was a thought, a hypothesis, that I throw out to provoke some reaction. It might be a little crazy and a little nutty, but I have to admit I intended to (potentially) offend -- no offense. I usually am not a "shock jock," but ... :spamafote: I don't want to constantly try to be always right.

Knowing
Posts: 34487
Joined: 2003-11-22 20:37

Post by Knowing » 2007-01-24 9:48

原来你是挖坑消遣我们。好,现在你正式成了狼来了的孩子,以后你再说啥男人的基因都带弯儿之类耸人听闻的话我们都不驳斥你了 :mad2:
有事找我请发站内消息

Jun
Posts: 27816
Joined: 2003-12-15 11:43

Post by Jun » 2007-01-24 12:13

Oh, come on. What's the fun if we all agree with each other? Fabvalley has been awfully quiet lately. 一言堂 is so boring.

I've decided to be an advocate for our fellow male human beings from now on!

tiffany
Posts: 24866
Joined: 2003-11-22 20:59

Post by tiffany » 2007-01-24 12:16

hahaha, I thought there are guys here who can represent themselves....
乡音无改鬓毛衰

豪情
Posts: 21256
Joined: 2003-11-22 18:47

Post by 豪情 » 2007-01-24 12:56

And gays.

Jun
Posts: 27816
Joined: 2003-12-15 11:43

Post by Jun » 2007-01-24 13:00

说真的,最近因为读James Tiptree, Ursula LeGuin,花了点脑汁反省了一下自己的gender politics和偏见。一方面认识共性,一方面尊重个性,把人首先当个体的人来看待而不是一上来就帖标签,这是一条很细的线,太细了而经常都不知道它在哪儿。人民大众,普通男和普通女,其实比我们想象得要近似得多,但是人就喜欢盯着那点不同,喜欢找抢眼的新鲜的不同的地方拿出来说事儿,就好象0.2%的不同也成了种族斗争的正大理由,相煎何急?阿尔法男毕竟是少数,虽然他们的权力声音比谁都大,普通男和普通女都向往羡慕拜倒他们脚下,这才是人类的共同劣根性。

猫咪头
Posts: 403
Joined: 2003-12-05 9:38

Post by 猫咪头 » 2007-01-24 13:31

Sigh, poor Jun.
One more body count to my claim : "I 've seen more lives troubled by reading than by drinking." :action077:
MMT

火星狗
Posts: 3171
Joined: 2006-03-03 13:56

Post by 火星狗 » 2007-01-24 13:33

JUN翻底牌翻的太快了点儿。 :-) 自己先说“我是逗你们玩的”,别人也就没了argue的冲动。那种stimulating的讨论,还非得针尖对麦芒才有劲。

关于弯的本性,我相信大家都有bi的基因。 :lol: 如果从小全男班或全女伴,最后总会从同性那里seeking accompany。一个例子是过去亚洲女孩青春期的友谊,因为异性之间的交往不被鼓励,女孩自发自觉的找到了代替。

女人写的女人故事……这得怪社会。社会给她们指定的位置是站在男人旁边。我们在这里讨论男女,又何尝不是洗脑的结果?

男人传播基因的本能似乎没有女人强。呵呵呵,我们都知道他们dominant的本能是什么。

Jun
Posts: 27816
Joined: 2003-12-15 11:43

Post by Jun » 2007-01-24 13:38

I 've seen more lives troubled by reading than by drinking
At least I'm a danger to only myself while drinking is a danger to self and others.

Don't feel sorry for me though. I was destroyed irreversibly by books since I was 4 years old.
男人传播基因的本能似乎没有女人强
I so disagree with this statement. Can you say fish has less 传播基因的本能 just because its strategy is to produce millions of eggs rather than raising a few children until they are 18?

Knowing
Posts: 34487
Joined: 2003-11-22 20:37

Post by Knowing » 2007-01-24 13:43

Jun wrote:阿尔法男毕竟是少数,虽然他们的权力声音比谁都大,普通男和普通女都向往羡慕拜倒他们脚下,这才是人类的共同劣根性。
这有什么劣根的。我就喜欢阿尔法男。我也喜欢阿尔法女。人和人脾气不一样,我就受不了成天发牢骚扮演受害者的面瓜。
有事找我请发站内消息

花差花差小将军
Posts: 2374
Joined: 2003-12-09 15:11

Post by 花差花差小将军 » 2007-01-24 13:44

yeah, that's why i like deadwood and mark anthony :mrgreen:
脚翘黄天宝
光吃红国宝

tiffany
Posts: 24866
Joined: 2003-11-22 20:59

Post by tiffany » 2007-01-24 13:46

一般对那种人,我就想揪着伊的脖领子问:你到底想要什么?!
乡音无改鬓毛衰

火星狗
Posts: 3171
Joined: 2006-03-03 13:56

Post by 火星狗 » 2007-01-24 13:47

有时候传播基因的本能并不是在意识层面上……Shrug,事实上我不知道,很少有机会知道男性在这个问题上的真实想法,社会教给我们的概念是:男人seek happiness的冲动大过其他一切,但是也未必就是事实。我最常看到及唯一了解的,只是妇女们的小钟嘀嗒。

Jun
Posts: 27816
Joined: 2003-12-15 11:43

Post by Jun » 2007-01-24 13:48

I don't. I hate authority figures.

Deadwood is SO NOT about competition and dominance. David Milch is SO NOT an alpha male.

花差花差小将军
Posts: 2374
Joined: 2003-12-09 15:11

Post by 花差花差小将军 » 2007-01-24 14:00

no? to me it's about survival and at that time survival means fight & grab, it's pretty alpha to me. remember how Milch runs his brothel and slaps the whores around? remember how he decides who gets to eat how much and when, as when he Hiong Daied the chinaman?
脚翘黄天宝
光吃红国宝

dropby
Posts: 10921
Joined: 2003-11-24 12:23

Post by dropby » 2007-01-24 14:05

为什么我觉得女人没有男人比男人没有女人更容易过下去和过得好? 我觉得女性的世界比较自给自足, 而男人的世界比较依靠外部的东西, 包括女人.

Jun
Posts: 27816
Joined: 2003-12-15 11:43

Post by Jun » 2007-01-24 14:10

You mean Al Swearengen?

Milch is the writer. He's mighty good at manipulation -- manipulating the audience into loving Al despite his meanness. :mrgreen: Milch, based on the interviews on the DVD, is definitely not an alpha man. But he knows how people instinctively love the image of a powerful man and uses that to his advantage.

I strongly disagree with this dichotomous view that there are only 2 kinds of men or people in the world: Alpha and spineless mashed potatoes. Can you sweep Walt Disney into the same category as John Sayles (who? you say.) or David Milch? Can you sweep Mao into the same group as Bill Clinton? Can you put Jeffrey Skilling, Tom DeLay, Dick Cheney into the same category as Barak Obama, Al Gore, and Jimmy Carter?

Being smart and strong and capable is not the same thing as being a domineering self-absorbed grandiose power-hungry asshole.

Knowing
Posts: 34487
Joined: 2003-11-22 20:37

Post by Knowing » 2007-01-24 14:12

Jun wrote:I don't. I hate authority figures.
See, you always assume Alpha males are the ones who caused authority. Nooooooooo, it is the losers who follow blindly that caused it. If everyone thinks independantly and stops being such suckers there will not be absolute authority. :mrgreen:
有事找我请发站内消息

花差花差小将军
Posts: 2374
Joined: 2003-12-09 15:11

Post by 花差花差小将军 » 2007-01-24 14:14

Ideal world, my dear, in an ideal world.
Yes, I meant Al, sorry.
脚翘黄天宝
光吃红国宝

笑嘻嘻
Posts: 23477
Joined: 2003-11-22 18:00

Post by 笑嘻嘻 » 2007-01-24 21:15

听听你自己,Jun,你认为人不能一分为二,分为阿尔法的,和非阿尔法的。但是你认为人是大相径庭地分为男人和女人的。
云浆未饮结成冰

Jun
Posts: 27816
Joined: 2003-12-15 11:43

Post by Jun » 2007-01-25 7:42

笑嘻嘻你错了,我后面的就是要说非alpha男人和女人是基本上一样的。我可以肯定,如果没有sex and children,男人可以自己好好过下去,再也不需要女人。女人嘛,大概也差不多,可以自己跟自己好好过下去,不过我没那么肯定而已。只不过,这是最可笑的假设,因为人类和其他一切物种一样,存在只为了sex and children,如果没有这个,一切都没有意义。所以我提的问题本来就是胡扯。

Post Reply