古人云:进攻是最好的防守。具体到坐车挑座位这个事情上来就是如花花所训:要己挑人不要人挑己,实际操作起来就是上车自己坐在瘦子旁边儿,而不要找个空座位等下站上来一个胖子挤座位。今天早晨上了车,我乃照此原则坐定在一个小个子小娘边上。岂止人算不如天算,刚过两站,该小娘下车了。我对她能兼作防身利器的尖细高根靴注目礼毕,发现两个大块头貌似俄罗斯那边儿出身的大妈往我方向移动。稍微瘦点儿的坐在了三人坐的中间,另外一个挤进了我旁边的靠窗座位。我顿时感觉失去了1/5的空间。我就纳闷儿,开始,难道下次坐定之前还要询问邻座何站下车么?
the end
记一次失败的进攻策略
I once was sitting on a commuter train reading newspaper. Somehow I sensed a huge dark cloud descending. I looked and saw a 300+-pound black man about to (slowly) sit down into the seat next to me -- there is no bar or hurdle or any kind of separator. He apologized profusely as he descended and inched his way down into the seat, "I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry...." I sighed and swallowed the mean remakrs such as "don't just say sorry, do something about it, man, ever thought about skipping meal for a month or two?"
Once I picked a petite woman and sat next to her. Seconds after, I regreted my decision deeply. She was wearing some fragrance so intrusive and pungent I almost fainted. All the way I wish my nose would lose its sense. Yes, once I arrived and got off the train, I could not smell a thing.
Once I picked a petite woman and sat next to her. Seconds after, I regreted my decision deeply. She was wearing some fragrance so intrusive and pungent I almost fainted. All the way I wish my nose would lose its sense. Yes, once I arrived and got off the train, I could not smell a thing.
脚翘黄天宝
光吃红国宝
光吃红国宝