工作，还是工作
Posted: 2004-03-25 15:37
最近有朋友问我房子改建的事儿，她在电话这头描述，20年代的老房子，显得忧心仲仲。我那边就像大国手似的，心里说，这没什么，比这个难办的还有的是呢。
小地方的工程，也就像螺丝壳里做道场，小打小闹的弄些匪夷所思的花样出来：房子离水边太近，保险公司不肯承保，整幢房子向岸边移一百码；房子不够住了，地皮又有限，又想加个车库，整层往上抬成二楼，再在柱子下面塞进一层去；有人在海边买了个灯塔，要加建三个卧室！每人都有每人的主意。
有一座房子，经历了许多买主，每次都找我们重新改建，没多久又卖给别人，再改建。只见这房子的图纸在我们公司里转悠，也没见OWNER好好住下来过。开会时说起来，老板挤挤眼睛：THAT HOUSE IS CURSED.
收到的老板的EMAIL，有几条我觉得满可以实行一下。
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. AT LUNCH TIME, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A HAIR DRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN.
2. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, ASK IF THEY WANT THAT SUPERSIZED.
3. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN"
4. PUT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS. ONCE EVERYONE HAS GOTTEN OVER THEIR CAFFEINE ADDICTIONS, SWITCH TO ESPRESSO.
5. IN THE MEMO FIELD OF ALL YOUR CHECKS, WRITE "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."
9. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.
10. ASK PEOPLE WHAT GENDER THEY ARE.
14. PUT MOSQUITO NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA. PLAY A TAPE OF JUNGLE SOUNDS ALL DAY
15. FIVE DAYS IN ADVANCE, TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD.
17. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON! I WON! 3RD TIME THIS WEEK!!!!!"
18. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO, START RUNNING TOWARDS THE PARKING LOT, YELLING "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THEY'RE LOOSE!!"
19. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER. "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO."
AND THE FINAL WAY TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY.......
小地方的工程，也就像螺丝壳里做道场，小打小闹的弄些匪夷所思的花样出来：房子离水边太近，保险公司不肯承保，整幢房子向岸边移一百码；房子不够住了，地皮又有限，又想加个车库，整层往上抬成二楼，再在柱子下面塞进一层去；有人在海边买了个灯塔，要加建三个卧室！每人都有每人的主意。
有一座房子，经历了许多买主，每次都找我们重新改建，没多久又卖给别人，再改建。只见这房子的图纸在我们公司里转悠，也没见OWNER好好住下来过。开会时说起来，老板挤挤眼睛：THAT HOUSE IS CURSED.
收到的老板的EMAIL，有几条我觉得满可以实行一下。
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. AT LUNCH TIME, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A HAIR DRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN.
2. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, ASK IF THEY WANT THAT SUPERSIZED.
3. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN"
4. PUT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS. ONCE EVERYONE HAS GOTTEN OVER THEIR CAFFEINE ADDICTIONS, SWITCH TO ESPRESSO.
5. IN THE MEMO FIELD OF ALL YOUR CHECKS, WRITE "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."
9. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.
10. ASK PEOPLE WHAT GENDER THEY ARE.
14. PUT MOSQUITO NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA. PLAY A TAPE OF JUNGLE SOUNDS ALL DAY
15. FIVE DAYS IN ADVANCE, TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD.
17. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON! I WON! 3RD TIME THIS WEEK!!!!!"
18. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO, START RUNNING TOWARDS THE PARKING LOT, YELLING "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THEY'RE LOOSE!!"
19. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER. "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO."
AND THE FINAL WAY TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY.......
coyote就是豺吧.
