恶人谷

First, he wrote All the Lonely People.

Then, he wrote a follow up blog, A Meeting of Solitudes.

Both beautifully written. Both attracted a lot of raw and vulnerable comments.

Such a sad article. Just made my day much worse knowing so many people are lonely and living in quiet desperation.
Is that what Alcoholic Anonymous do? Going around the room and talk about your day?

以前我有个邻居，就每周都去AA，虽然她的addiction是大麻，人家仍然接受。也有 Narcotics Anonymous 和 Overeaters Anonymous 的类似组织。具体情况不清楚，但是基本上就是大家坐成一圈，挨个谈谈自己生活里的 stress 和不开戒的努力，或者受不了开戒喝酒了，也得到一下精神支持。有 counselor 在场主持引导，跟大家复习 12 steps 的内容，等于帮助大家记住各种对策，对付 cravings 的对策。

他们非常强调 nonjudgmental 的态度，也非常强调隐姓埋名（所以叫Anonymous），因为酗酒的人里男性占大多数，几乎每个人都有很深很强的羞耻。陌生人要进来参加 meetings 都随便可以，只要你保证不泄露别人的隐私。很多人在家附近有个经常去的小组，平时旅行出差什么的，也可以在当地就近找个meeting参加。也有人特意不找离家近的小组，怕撞上街坊熟人什么的。我的邻居有时情绪不好，特难受，stressed，会一周去两三次不同的小组（因为每个小组都是一周一次聚会）。新参加的人可以要求跟一个戒酒时间很长的 sponsor 配上对，在 group meeting 之外如果非常 stressed 可以私下联络谈心，得到一对一的精神支持。

AA 算是相当有效的治疗方法了，也有几个药物帮人戒酒瘾，但是成功率不如AA（当然把药物治疗和AA结合起来效果最好），很有可能是 group therapy 的精神支持的正面作用。

有个挺不错的电视电影My Name is Bill W. (James Woods主演），是AA的创始人 Bill Wilson 的传记，对AA组织的起源和结构有不错的解释。

Ebert 结婚很晚（五十多岁），但是很幸福。I'm so glad to see someone (it was not me) call him "a national treasure." (Then someone else called his blog "an international treasure." )

为什么说因为酗酒的人里男性占大多数，几乎每个人都有很深很强的羞耻？女性上瘾者是好些吗？

Sorry. 我没说清楚，这是两个分开的句子：1) 酗酒者中男性占大多数。最近二三十年中，女性比例有所上升，但是男性仍然占多数。2) 强烈的羞耻是 alcoholics 的一大特征，因为羞耻而长期掩藏起来，拒绝相信自己有问题，令大多数的 alcoholics 躲在阴影里，没有求助。

AA据说其实是宗教性质的，非常讲究group support, no judgement, blah blah. 这么看等于长期随时随地的有group therapy, 当然比光药物治疗有效。
羞耻是一个方面，另一个方面是很多长期酗酒的仍然是functional alcholic , 虽然喝的厉害对自己伤害很大，仍然能够维持一个近乎正常的生活表面。所以能瞒的住。

Yes, religion is a part of AA's origin. Nowadays AA's 12-step program has retained the spiritual element, but the concept of a Christian god has been generally substituted by any higher power the participant believes in. The actual text of the 12 steps can be found at:
http://aa.org/en_pdfs/smf-121_en.pdf

The word "God" is used a lot in the text, but basically it is equivalent to "a higher power." Most important, AA does not preach. The evangelical (ie, recruiting nonbelievers) aspect is completely taken out. Its mission is not to spread Christianity to nonbelievers. Participants are not "encouraged" (ie, pressured) to believe in the same god as everyone else in AA meetings or join a Christian church. Whatever the higher power (can be "forces of nature") the person is comfortable with is good enough.

From what I have heard from people who have participated in AA, it is very, very nonjudgmental. That alone suggests that it is very different from organized religious institutions.

Note the first step, admitting one is powerless over alcohol. This is extremely important and effective in addiction treatment. It is also consistent with the biological model of addiction.

(If AA had got itself into the evangelical business, it would never have worked or have become the most successful alcoholism treatment.)

Being alone not necessary means to be lonely. Going to museum, reading books, or sometimes traveling are much better to be alone, unless there is someone to be communicate with by heart. But maybe that's not what this article is about.

Ebert 说他自己在遇到 Chaz 之前就是 alone but never lonely。常常一个人在外面或者家里都从来没觉得孤独。Although he drank back then, loneliness was not one of his problems.

Jun wrote:Ebert 结婚很晚（五十多岁），但是很幸福。I'm so glad to see someone (it was not me) call him "a national treasure." (Then someone else called his blog "an international treasure." )

Me too.