恶人谷

Marie-Ange A. from Montreal, QC
This episode was like... fate finding me. After hearing this particular story, I burst into tears in the metro. I am a Soo and am currently facing a difficult "confrontation" where I have two options... take the Soo approach, be myself, tell the people at fault what I think, instigate real change but risk alienating myself further and getting a bad reputation, or take the Lulu approach, tell people what they want to hear to get what I want without ruffling feathers or improving things, and basically denying my nature and lying to be "nice." I was hoping for an answer but the segment has an open ending...

You see, people like Soo and I (I think we're alike) are labelled condescending, bullies, opinionated... the thing is, speaking for myself, I try to be nice aalll the time but am very hard on myself. I hold myself to the highest of standards, and like Lulu said, I always assume if I can push myself and live up to my potential, other people can too. So I treat people teh way I treat myself sometimes. The problem with constant over-estimation is constant disappointment. My boyfriend often says "please under-estimate me, it is impossible to live up to your standards." So in a sense, yes, people like me believe others are capable of the best. Our problem is expecting the best and reacting negatively when people don't "deliver."

As for my confrontation, a wise friend of mine told me it's about the delivery, not about the content. It's an art to bridge the gap between honesty (sometimes the truth is ugly) and kindness. I've been practising my speech accordingly and I hope it all goes well.

In conclusion, we need Soos and Lulus in the world because we learn from each other, like two tethers bringing each other back to equilibrium. Thanks Radiolab for another fantastic, introspective, story.