流言

入得谷来,祸福自求。
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Knowing
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Joined: 2003-11-22 20:37

流言

Post by Knowing » 2006-08-29 17:04

刚发现这个网站,overheard, 都是人在路边听到的对话片段。太逗啦。有的太黄,儿童慎入。挑几个不那么黄的贴一下,过过翻译村言俚语的瘾。

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com

女人在讲电话:不,我是说,随便。宝宝死的时候我也流了眼泪。狗屎!我还参加了葬礼,这小东西甚至没有出生!谁他妈的给没出生的宝宝办葬礼?不管怎么说,我不是要说这个。我的意思是:我他妈的绝对不去一年前参加过他葬礼的宝宝的生日晚会。这太病态了! ..... 他们最好别指望大家送礼。



嬉皮女:她说:贝丝是她最好的朋友。我说:最好的朋友?这话可真够小资的。


游客妇女:纽约每个人都对人很友好,我真没想到。
纽约妇女:我们其实挺友好的,就是太忙于自恋。


女一:我很逗。
女二:你不逗。
女一:我逗的。人人都说我很逗。
女二:当然他们这么说。那是因为你长的不好看。


在电影院听到的:

某男:我只是说,也许你不应该挑选<佐罗>作为你看的第一部美国电影。


女一:别说话,我都听不见他说什么了。
女二:母狗,你不是读过原著了嘛。

男一:你还在给制片公司修车?
男二:是啊,我还上了电影。你去看<原色>(prime)。乌玛瑟曼演的。我出现了足有二十秒,带着红头巾在街上打篮球。那时我刚出狱,比现在胖三十磅。

黑女:这些垃圾男人都爱看电影...这一点是他们的最低公分母。

某女:我在同时约会两个有孩子的男人,没有一个肯带我去看<哈里波特>。这可糟透了。
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Jun
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Post by Jun » 2006-08-29 17:14

Whoa! So much material for stories!

密斯张三
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Post by 密斯张三 » 2006-08-29 18:26

嗯。我们这边小本的报纸也有verbatim栏目。

Overheard in front of the billboard for United 93 at the Garden Theatre:
Girl: Is that "Snakes on a Plane"?

Overhead in Fitness Center:
Guy1: You remember when you thought your internship had a casual dress code?
Guy2: That would have been rough wearing a polo shit on Wall Street. People might have thought I worked in a restaurant. (Apr. 13, 2006)

Overheard in Henry:
There is such a thing as Caucasian-ness in a bottle. It’s called Budweiser. (Nov. 8, 2001)


Joyce Carol Oates, CWR 203:
You don’t have to have a bad opium trip to write well. (Oct. 4, 2001)


Bill Nye in AST 203:
Astrology is evil and bad. I’m not trying to be judgemental, I’m just saying. (Feb. 15, 2001)

tiffany
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Joined: 2003-11-22 20:59

Post by tiffany » 2006-08-29 19:19

this one is sooooo funny

If at First You Don't Succeed...

Halter-Top #1, screaming into cell: We're on 10th and One. One. One!
Halter-Top #2: Just tell him we're at 10th and one!
Halter-Top #1: One! [Pause] Oh, First? Is that what it's called?

--10th & 1st
乡音无改鬓毛衰

ravaged
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Post by ravaged » 2006-08-29 19:20

gawd i love overheard. the office edition is beyond hilarious. an always trusted respite in my daily drudgeries... their editors are awesome. the titles really take the cake!
Now that happy moment between the time the lie is told and when it is found out.

Knowing
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Joined: 2003-11-22 20:37

Post by Knowing » 2006-08-29 22:34

I know. some of them are not so funny without the title.

我今天的纽约一刻:下班儿后去字母区吃饭玩儿,穿过一条人不多的街,一个牵狗的女人走过我身边,突然塞过一张纸来,微笑的说:动物商品是肮脏残忍的,如果你热爱动物,请做植物!(I swear I thought she said "be a veggie" not "be a vegan") 我一时很困惑,她到底是喜欢动物还是不喜欢?后来看了传单反应过来了,是peta 的极端分子。
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tiffany
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Post by tiffany » 2006-08-30 9:07

这家伙显然没有想到植物要被动物吃啊!又或者她热爱动物到无私无我的境界了?
乡音无改鬓毛衰

Knowing
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Post by Knowing » 2006-08-30 9:16

She probably feeds her dog Tofu bacan and turkey burger. If you ask me, THAT is animal cruelty.
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tiffany
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Post by tiffany » 2006-08-30 9:34

我昨天晚上翻那个站,翻到一个擦鞋匠的演讲,大意就是:我们是人不是羊,如果我们是羊,---此时补充说:小姐,您比羊漂亮多了,---那我们就是草食动物,就吃草;可是我们是人,是肉食动物,我们就得吃肉,你们听我们的身体说:肉我,肉我!
乡音无改鬓毛衰

火星狗
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Post by 火星狗 » 2006-08-30 15:25

我老津津有味的看了一个多钟头,词汇量大增。

Knowing
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Post by Knowing » 2006-08-30 16:02

I am sure by now you know more than 200 ways to say "f__k". :mrgreen:
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