实际上，“快乐”和“不快乐”是两件不同的事情。我的体会是，学会培育快乐很重要，也要学好怎么赶走不快乐。实现快乐总是需要些条件，但在即刻的负面情绪和状态下，比如上班时，可能没有把珍宝箱打开的条件。这时候，有能当机立断把泼墨说的“潘朵拉盒子”啪地合上的本事，实用效果就大了去了。
太对了。
【转新博】珍宝箱
sinca 同学，
（别，别急着说，＂但是...＂）
不需要标准/正确的答案，就是把脑子打开（open your mind），反问一下自己：Why not?
那当然是快乐，但是世上一定非得只有一种快乐吗？村长是不是干部？包子是不是饭？
遇到不开心的处境，不需要硬性＂说服＂自己，观察一下天生坚强和乐观的人（基因好的人）怎样面对，怎样对付。
咱基因不好，没那么强的天赋，但后天也能学。
讲一件很
的事哈，请随便笑我。这年头在生活里已经很少遇到让我哭鼻子的伤心事了。能让我感觉很爽的事之一是看电影或者书让我 
，过后，哇，象洗过澡一样舒服。好变态吧？
不要害怕伤心和郁闷的情绪，使劲躲起来或者否认或者埋藏起来。到最亲密的朋友/爱人那里去寻找分担和安慰啊。同时别忘了维持亲密关系的准则－－－互相支持，礼尚往来。
Why not?不过我还有个疑问，快乐是可以自己定义的吗？
（别，别急着说，＂但是...＂）
不需要标准/正确的答案，就是把脑子打开（open your mind），反问一下自己：Why not?
这个定义，不是自己下的么？那种情绪就是好得可以飘起来，根本压不住，整个世界美好的不得了。
那当然是快乐，但是世上一定非得只有一种快乐吗？村长是不是干部？包子是不是饭？
咱们的目标不是把生活中一切的不如意，压力，烦恼，等等都彻底剔除，而是来了也不害怕。21.不快乐的时候就是不快乐，怎么说服自己都没用。
遇到不开心的处境，不需要硬性＂说服＂自己，观察一下天生坚强和乐观的人（基因好的人）怎样面对，怎样对付。
咱基因不好，没那么强的天赋，但后天也能学。
讲一件很
的事哈，请随便笑我。这年头在生活里已经很少遇到让我哭鼻子的伤心事了。能让我感觉很爽的事之一是看电影或者书让我 ，过后，哇，象洗过澡一样舒服。好变态吧？不要害怕伤心和郁闷的情绪，使劲躲起来或者否认或者埋藏起来。到最亲密的朋友/爱人那里去寻找分担和安慰啊。同时别忘了维持亲密关系的准则－－－互相支持，礼尚往来。
此喵已死，有事烧纸
怎么说呢？
之所以学会快乐，其实是为了更好的 enjoy 生活，抵御不快乐。生活里各种不幸的事情都会发生，比如说：失去健康。如果一定要把快乐和健康联系起来，那么失去健康之后，恐怕得额外费一番功夫才能把心理调整过来。其实，“我一定要健康才能快乐”和“我一定要成功才能快乐”，“我一定要美貌才能快乐”是一样的陷阱。
另一方面，失去健康而快乐的大有人在。哪怕是 Jun 举的打断腿在床上躺三个月的例子。一开始痛啊痛的肯定没法快乐，后来在恢复期还整天愁眉苦脸未免太悲观。还有那些没法完全恢复带着 damage 生活下去的人，他们的生活就和快乐永远绝缘了吗？人类接受现实和修复的能力比我们想象的强，总有一天能适应并且重新捕捉那些以前能使他们感到快乐的事情，或者一些新快乐，比如说从躺在床上不能动到可以靠拐杖到处跑。当然我这里说的是那些不那么严重的“不健康”。如果是癌症晚期的那种，那是很不一样的。
之所以学会快乐，其实是为了更好的 enjoy 生活，抵御不快乐。生活里各种不幸的事情都会发生，比如说：失去健康。如果一定要把快乐和健康联系起来，那么失去健康之后，恐怕得额外费一番功夫才能把心理调整过来。其实，“我一定要健康才能快乐”和“我一定要成功才能快乐”，“我一定要美貌才能快乐”是一样的陷阱。
另一方面，失去健康而快乐的大有人在。哪怕是 Jun 举的打断腿在床上躺三个月的例子。一开始痛啊痛的肯定没法快乐，后来在恢复期还整天愁眉苦脸未免太悲观。还有那些没法完全恢复带着 damage 生活下去的人，他们的生活就和快乐永远绝缘了吗？人类接受现实和修复的能力比我们想象的强，总有一天能适应并且重新捕捉那些以前能使他们感到快乐的事情，或者一些新快乐，比如说从躺在床上不能动到可以靠拐杖到处跑。当然我这里说的是那些不那么严重的“不健康”。如果是癌症晚期的那种，那是很不一样的。
The correlation between health and happiness is not absolute.
See "Butterfly and the Diving Bell." A person can derive joy and maintain his curiosity even when the only thing he can move is his eyelid.
That said, I maintain that, on average, to most people, physical health is the single biggest contributor to a person's mental wellbeing. Being physically strong and healthy does not necessarily give you a sense of ecstacy and "flying in the clouds." When it is lost, however, the vast majority of normal human beings will suffer a blow in quality of life and in psychological wellbeing that is heavier than almost everything else. Chronic pain, for example, would kill the joy in life faster and more thoroughly than poverty, failed marriage, bankruptcy, job loss, even imprisonment.
Of course, physical health is not the only or all of the contributor of happiness, but it is perhaps the most important foundation.
In addition, seeing and learning about people who suffer physical pain, including how they cope with it and how resilient they are, is great help for us who tend to take health for granted. It is a good reminder. I suggest befriending people who are NOT as young, physically strong, and healthy as you are or occasionally volunteering your time to people who are less lucky.
See "Butterfly and the Diving Bell." A person can derive joy and maintain his curiosity even when the only thing he can move is his eyelid.
That said, I maintain that, on average, to most people, physical health is the single biggest contributor to a person's mental wellbeing. Being physically strong and healthy does not necessarily give you a sense of ecstacy and "flying in the clouds." When it is lost, however, the vast majority of normal human beings will suffer a blow in quality of life and in psychological wellbeing that is heavier than almost everything else. Chronic pain, for example, would kill the joy in life faster and more thoroughly than poverty, failed marriage, bankruptcy, job loss, even imprisonment.
Of course, physical health is not the only or all of the contributor of happiness, but it is perhaps the most important foundation.
In addition, seeing and learning about people who suffer physical pain, including how they cope with it and how resilient they are, is great help for us who tend to take health for granted. It is a good reminder. I suggest befriending people who are NOT as young, physically strong, and healthy as you are or occasionally volunteering your time to people who are less lucky.
此喵已死，有事烧纸
深刻的思考了一下。总结，必要条件，而非充分条件。是目前额们身体都还很健康的情况下的认知，非常符合逻辑。
我其实有点不能想象失去健康的感觉，以上完全是在身体健康的时候做出的推论，谁知道我老了病了是啥样。 Jun 同学应该也面临类似的问题吧。二十岁时觉得肚子上有肉肉是世界末日，三十岁以后爱长不长的。现在觉得重感冒在床上躺三天改变人生观，三十年后大概觉得小病小痛是人生的一部份。其实，我并不了解失去健康的人是怎么想的，包括那些一天到晚抱怨的和看上去适应的很好的。
健康人其实也有机会短暂失去健康的，躺在床上时大概会发誓我以后一定好好吃草，天天锻炼。一旦病好了又该干嘛干嘛去了。他们（我们）其实并不能预测自己失去健康又重新获得健康的反应，所以，事实上也并不能预测失去健康的状态持续下去的反应……吧。
我其实有点不能想象失去健康的感觉，以上完全是在身体健康的时候做出的推论，谁知道我老了病了是啥样。 Jun 同学应该也面临类似的问题吧。二十岁时觉得肚子上有肉肉是世界末日，三十岁以后爱长不长的。现在觉得重感冒在床上躺三天改变人生观，三十年后大概觉得小病小痛是人生的一部份。其实，我并不了解失去健康的人是怎么想的，包括那些一天到晚抱怨的和看上去适应的很好的。
健康人其实也有机会短暂失去健康的，躺在床上时大概会发誓我以后一定好好吃草，天天锻炼。一旦病好了又该干嘛干嘛去了。他们（我们）其实并不能预测自己失去健康又重新获得健康的反应，所以，事实上也并不能预测失去健康的状态持续下去的反应……吧。
No, you cannot know for certain. But, if you know yourself well, usually through training on self-knowledge and insight, can have a better idea than if you continue to live in denial about who you are, really.事实上也并不能预测失去健康的状态持续下去的反应……吧
Also, a person does not change into a totally different person once he is ill, just like he does not turn into a different person in love. What you do and think and feel in illness is intimately connected with who you are in better times. So, the point is to learn to be mentally stronger when you have energy to spare, so that when hard time hits you are better prepared than otherwise.
此喵已死，有事烧纸
额的心理学训练还不够，对本人 subconscious 层面的认知顶多10% 
你老总是否认极端情况（恋爱或者生病）对人的作用。我觉得呀，当然不会变成另一个人，但是在极端情况下能接触到 subconscious 层面更多，对自己的认识会更深刻。如果单纯和恋爱或者生病之前的那个人比，肯定是有变化的， more is exposed 。当然我老 prefer love instead of illness 来做这种 self-digging 的工作。当然最最最好的是交给专业人员 instead of 自己乱摸索。
我又想了想真生病了会怎样，最后的答案是――和其他人一样, accept it 。这就和生孩子 due 一样，压根也没有第二条路。
你老总是否认极端情况（恋爱或者生病）对人的作用。我觉得呀，当然不会变成另一个人，但是在极端情况下能接触到 subconscious 层面更多，对自己的认识会更深刻。如果单纯和恋爱或者生病之前的那个人比，肯定是有变化的， more is exposed 。当然我老 prefer love instead of illness 来做这种 self-digging 的工作。当然最最最好的是交给专业人员 instead of 自己乱摸索。That's the point, agreed. 不过过程也蛮 enjoyable 的，事实上很难说从过程还是结果收获更多。the point is to learn to be mentally stronger when you have energy to spare, so that when hard time hits you are better prepared than otherwise.
我又想了想真生病了会怎样，最后的答案是――和其他人一样, accept it 。这就和生孩子 due 一样，压根也没有第二条路。
很喜欢很愉快 I cannot really feel this if I am not actually doing it. 很痛苦很折磨 yes sometimes for not being able to do it.
Therefore generally I don't enjoy either fantasizing things I do not have or reminiscing fond memories of things I had in the past. (I don't enjoy it, but can't help it sometimes.)
Therefore generally I don't enjoy either fantasizing things I do not have or reminiscing fond memories of things I had in the past. (I don't enjoy it, but can't help it sometimes.)
Last edited by Jun on 2008-04-30 14:02, edited 1 time in total.
此喵已死，有事烧纸
学会和自己独处确实是件不容易的事. 
但是多想想JUN提议的珍宝箱，能让人有感恩的态度。 